From losing weight to toning
Hi! I have working on losing about 20lbs since jan 2021, i without 1 hr a day 5x a week. I average 20000 steps a day.Cardio/strength mix. I have been eating at a calorie deficit for months now, slowly increasing as i know i am taking in too little, but when i increase to what it says i should intake to lose i don't lose. I start the same. I am 5ft 125lbs . I intake about 1300-1400 / day. 1700 / day on weekends.I would like to maintain 120-125. I am ready to turn my attention to toning instead of weight loss, but i m scared to increase the calories, as i don't want to see the scale go up. How should i go about this? Thank you for your help. Becca
Exception to the rule
You often talk about knowing how to lose weight, but stumbling on maintaining. I feel like I'm the exception--I have obsessed about losing weight for years, but I have been the woman who has gained the 2 lbs/year from perimenopause on for 25 years or so, creating my 50 lb weight gain that I need to lose, now in my late 60s. I really don't have any successful history with losing weight. I was stable for my adult life until I started that gain. Despite being concerned in my mind with weight gain, any actual attempts to lose weight would be over in less than a day, given my internal rebellious reaction to restriction. How do I get started?
Pregnancy or Fitness?
Hi Heather, love your show and your booklets. I'm 37, 5'4 and started at 191 lbs back in November 2018 and have been maintaining around 138 for the past year, rather comfortably. I was never one of those people who dreamed about having children, but now I am thinking about it. Though given my struggles with overeating, and my older age, I am very torn about if I can get pregnant and not gain too much weight while pregnant and be able to lose it afterwards. I know about all the joys of motherhood, and that I must sound shallow, but I have worked so damn hard. I have beaten years of bulimia (only through replacing it with healthy habits) and work out and track all my food just like you say to do. I am afraid of becoming extremely depressed if I gain weight back and am not able to lose it. I wonder, have you seen women my age be able to maintain their fitness during and after pregnancy? And if I did not take your advice as medical advice, do you think it would help if I hired you for coaching during and post pregnancy? I just don't want to gain it all during... I want to stay very fit throughout.. Thank you.
goal weight
Heather has said not to chase a weight lost number. Be organic. I listened and reduced my weight to 149.4 from 296. I would love to be 145 but am not going to change my habits to get there. But, Heather is close to my weight. Same height, but smaller sizes in clothing and wants to lose even more She looks strong and great. Why is this right for her and not for me?
I am pregnant, please advise!
Hi Heather, I love your podcast! I’ve been listening since 2019 and you’re so honest and knowledgeable! I lost ~90lbs between 2019-2020, (starting weight: 236; lowest weight 144; age 32, height 5’5”) I went into maintenance in January weighing 144, after introducing more calories my weight floated all year between 148-151. It was pretty consistent and definitely thanks to you, I didn’t freak out at the scale when my weight went up. I just kept going and it all worked out, since I weighed in daily I noticed that my periods could cause up to a 6 pound gain and loss all in the same week due to hormones. This helped me to stay consistent with my eating habits and not throw in the towel. Anyways, I got a positive pregnancy test, YAY! But now what? I am having a really hard time finding any helpful information about pregnancy and safe weight gain for someone who has lost weight. So I am turning to you again because I know you were in the process of your journey while pregnant with your 2 boys so any advice would be helpful! Thank you again Coach Heather!
The last 20 pounds
Hi Heather, People always talk about "the last 10 pounds", but I've been stalled with 20 pounds left to lose for about a year now. I religiously count calories using MyFitnessPal and find it difficult to stay at 1500, which mathematically is the only way for me to lose a quarter to a half pound per week. I find myself going over by about 250-300 calories 3 to 4 days a week, which basically keeps my weight at a standstill (and that's with 10,000 steps every day). I'm not looking for fast weight loss, but it's frustrating to be on a hamster wheel with no progress for so long. The calories add up so fast - one extra snack and I make no progress. You're always so helpful, so I'm wondering if you have any suggestions for this dilemma. Thanks so much! Sharon
Weight gain and back injury
Hi Heather I am 44 years old in the last 6 months I have started having back problems and have not been able to exercise. I had a mri and have 3 herniated discs and bulging discs . Four years ago I lost 40 pounds and felt great I have regained all my weight and feel stuck. I am so afraid that I will keep gaining especially since my activity level is very little. Any advice is appreciated. I am a long time listener of your podcast and love it . Thank you
My lower brain is strangely silent
Hi Heather - I'm 68 years old with a 50-year history of yo-yo dieting. I've been on every diet imaginable and, as I've heard you discuss on your invaluable podcast and YouTube episodes, I've been extremely successful at losing weight, but when it came keeping it off for more than a few days or weeks, not so much. I invested lots of time, money and angst in all these diets, expecting each time that this is it. I'm losing the weight. Losing and regaining at least 500 lbs over the course of my adult life should have taught me that the diet approach doesn't work without addressing the habits that don't support my goals and adopting a maintenance mindset, but that didn't happen until I discovered your podcast late last year. Because of the encouragement and hope you offer in every episode and your recommendation to read Dr. Yoni Freedhoff's book, The Diet Fix, I've made adjustments to my eating plan so that I consume enough protein at every meal and snack to avoid the "white knuckle," "I'm starving" feeling while maintaining a 500 calorie a day deficit. Almost immediately upon making this simple change (adding 5-15 grams of protein to each meal and eating every 3-4 hours), my "lower brain" quieted and all my cravings went away. I once had a diet coach refer to this as "food peace" and that's what this feels like: a state of contentment in which sticking to my 1400 calories a day allotment is quite do-able. The problem (and I'm almost ashamed to call it a problem) that I now find myself in is that it's a rare occasion that menu items that I used to enjoy for dinner sound particularly good. It's like going to a restaurant for the first time and scanning the menu for something that will "hit the spot," and that spot doesn't seem to be there anymore, or it's a MUCH smaller target than it used to be. It makes meal planning a little challenging because I don't have an appetite or a lower brain making any demands about what it wants to be fed, but this is something I've never experienced before. I seem to be stuck in a strange, food-neutral, mental place, where I've been for over a month. I've tried several new, flavorful recipes to try to "un-stick" myself, but nothing seems to make a difference. I realize that the small adjustments I've made to consume more protein can help suppress my appetite, and in a sense it's a nice problem to have, but I'd like to derive more enjoyment from the food I consume, and I don't know how to go about doing that. Any suggestions? On a personal note, I thank you for all the time and effort you have put into Half Size Me. You may not often hear back from those of us in your listening audience, but you have changed a lot of lives, mine included, so thank you for all you do. ~ Wendy
Body dismorphia
I’m not maintenance now for about a month. Been fat pretty much all my life except high school and college when I took diet pills. I’m now 76 and thanks in great part to your podcasts I think I’ve finally figured out what maintenance looks like. What I haven’t yet figured out is what I look like. When will my brain catch up. Will I always be a fatty in my head? I see myself in mirrors and windows and I don’t know who I am. Am I only my (over)weight?
Update on Kirsten in episode 499?
I'm addicted to your podcosts and listen to them daily. I would love for you to occasionally do update episodes with past coaching call people. I think your advice is always amazing, and I always wonder how it worked out for the people. I'm especially interested in Kirsten in episode 499. We sound almost identical. I'm 57", 5'2" and averaging 138 lbs trying to lose about another 5 lbs with no success, after having lost 45 lbs over the past 1.5 years. I lost on 1300 calories, maintain on 1600 calories and cannot seem to eat at 1200 calories and not be hungry despite my protein intake. I'm wondering if Kirsten successfully lost the few pounds she was working on. 3-5 lbs doesn't seem like it would make a difference, but to us short gals, it really does. Every 10 lbs puts us in a different clothing size. I'm currently a size 6/8. 8's are a bit too loose, 6's are a bit too tight. Losing another 5 lbs would put me firmly at a size 6. Ordering items online always requires me to buy both sizes since I don't know which will fit better. 5 lbs would make a big difference. I'm currently eating at maintenance, planning to wait until the colder weather is over (because I'm hungrier in the winter) and then attempt 1200 calories again since 1300 doesn't seem to do the job anymore at my current weight. Would love to connect with Kirsten or get an update from you. Thank you for your amazing podcasts! Martha
Time is running out!!!
Hi Heather I'm feeling frustrated because I'm maintaining at a weight that won't allow me to fit into my clothes and because this process is so slow even if I'm around for 10 more years the clothes will be out of style. I'm having a hard time accepting this weight. My life style has changed so much. I'm also taking care of my 100 year old brother who plans on lasting to 110. Otherwise I'm usually a happy person. Any suggestions? I'm 80.
PTSD, Hashimoto’s and Set Point
Hi Heather! I am new to your podcast and want to let you know that you have given me hope again! In 2018, I was diagnosed with PTSD from childhood trauma. In 2016, I had run a full marathon, was two years postpartum of my second child, no longer teaching full time, and 155 lbs. I had put on some 15 pounds with a stressful, cross country move, doctor’s orders to not run (SI joint was out) and the sudden passing of my father-in-law to pancreatic cancer. I was stressed and in the trenches of early motherhood, but when I found myself no longer functioning physically (ovaries weren’t producing eggs despite no history of early menopause) I was finally relieved to know something was “off”. Thankfully my OBGYN sent me to see the endocrinologist to check my thyroid levels and establish care in my new state. I have had hypothyroidism for 20 years now. The endocrinologist knew within 5 minutes what was causing my pre-menopausal symptoms. He asked me some questions about the stress, my childhood, and told me that PTSD was the culprit. When I started gaining weight though still working out even highering trainers before the diagnosis, I knew the childhood trauma was catching up to me. Something I knew I needed to seek out counseling for but hadn’t yet. I was in peak cardio shape. I have a low resting heart rate and enjoy the stress relief of a good sweat fest! Unfortunately, despite me going to counseling, I kept gaining weight-ten pounds in a couple months. The 5 Stages of Grief were horrific on me. In July 2019, I decided return to running again with the guidance of my physical therapist, and sign up for a half-marathon. I was now 180 lbs. Then Murphy hit! I fell running in Glacier National Park and had two major surgeries to my left hand in August and December 2019 to repair a broken hand, 2 blown tendons and ”fix” a genetically too-long of ulna. Obviously this was only months before the Covid pandemic would roar its ugly head. I had another checkin with my endocrinologist in April 2020 and I was devastated when he told me about “set point” and the idea that my body may be at a 50 lbs gain. In November 2020, we’ve moved back to our original state and I’ve been following a workout routine since January that seems to be helping me mentally and physically despite my arm debacle. I’ve signed up for a 8K in March with a lady who recommended your podcast for weightloss. I now have hope that I can loose the weight, regain a healthy body image, and be the mom my children should have as a healthy role model! So here are my questions… 1. Does set point matter? 2. How will my PTSD symptoms affect my weight-loss goals now? I’m just getting to the difficult trauma counseling. 3. What can I do to help me see this through and do the actual work of counting calories and saying no to my Lower Brain? FYI In 2003 while in college after my thyroid issues and the “Freshman 15” was my 30 lbs weight gain, I was successful at losing all the weight and maintained it for 12 years even after two pregnancies. I’m 5’6” and weighed 130-140 lbs. I tried to restart with WW last year (since at the end of March, I’ll be turning 40) with high hopes and I couldn’t get into it with their new ways and 0 point items. I like that you stress getting control of your thinking about food and not having “bad” food. I really don’t even like to eat, food doesn’t really give me pleasure though I do find comfort in sweets, ice cream, cake, etc if I crave anything. These are the food items that we rarely got as children growing up poor and only binging when they did make an appearance. 4. What are some good sources of protein for someone who is Lactose intolerant, doesn’t like red meat, and just doesn’t like to eat despite the scale? Currently I weigh 206 lbs. I need to figure out my calories deficit number still. I believe 140-150 lbs would be a good range for me as an athlete/runner. Thank you! Thank you for all that you do and for the inspiration!!! I now know I can do this!!!
I eat to please other people
Hi Heather, I love your podcast, and I'm so happy to have found this community. I've been losing and gaining the same 10 to 15 pounds since I was in my late 20's. Soon, I will be 60 and I am struggling again with a recent weight gain of 12 pounds. The thing is, I eat to please other people. A lot of people I know are overweight, and they want us all to be overweight together. It sounds so silly, but it's true. I feel almost embarrassed when I lose weight, and yet I keep doing it because I don't like how my clothes feel when I'm on the heavier side. My tops ride up and my pants dig in, and my feet and knees hurt when I walk. I don't talk about my weight, but I find when I am slim everyone else does. Ultimately, I end up eating along with them, because it makes them happy. I don't know what to do. I don't know how to react when they talk about my weight, because I feel so self-conscious. I just want to be the weight I want to be without being a spectacle and topic of conversation. Have you any advice for me? Thanks.
Calorie deficit for the Gastric Bypass Folks
Hi Heather, I have heard you several times address Gastric Bypass folks and I am 1.5 years out from surgery…lost weight from 268 to 163. Over the last 6-7 months have slowly crept back up to 175 (regain is a HUGE problem for WLS people). I have been experimenting with maintenance calories and caloric deficit…so have given myself the grace you teach us all to have. I so wish I knew of your amazing podcast before my surgery, but what’s done is done. So wondering if you might be able to throw us gastric bypass gals (there’s a lot of us) some of your all knowing expertise on how to get that protein in each day without exceeding our very low daily caloric intake. How to not listen to the lower brain when the FEAR of regain is looming and it’s so loud! Just feeling confused and overwhelmed and really would appreciate any resources or your amazing common sensical thoughts on how to be consistent…love your show and so admire your passion to help! Pam
1400 maintenance 1200 deficit?
I read many places, like on Yoni Friedhof's calculator for example, or have heard on the HSM podcast, that 1200 calories is "restrictive", and I do find it so. But at age 76, 5'4", is it possible that my calories to lose are really that low? I am having trouble getting down that low. Any suggestions?
I'd love to learn a little more about you!
It is absolutely mind-blowing that out of the millions of messages we receive about dieting, weight loss/gain, appearance, meal planning, etc., you are the only coach who has cracked the code. Like you sometimes say, "it is simple but not easy." Who knew? Oh, that's right, Heather does and now I do, too! What is the most surprising thing you have learned about yourself in your journey up until now? What is your most challenging habit? What is your favorite thing about coaching? Who or what inspires you? Is it or has it ever been tiring to answer the same questions over and over for all of us throughout your coaching career? What are you working toward next? Where do you get your sports bras? Thank you for your willingness to be open and authentic and for sharing your knowledge and experience with the world. You and Half Size Me are on my gratitude list every day because you are helping me change my life! Forever looking forward to the next episode, Allysen
Impulse, delayed gratification, postpone; oh, my!
Hello! One of the skills that I am learning is how to manage snacks and treats on a daily basis. Almost all of my daily treats are ice cream (yum!) but it can also be a little more cheese on my taco bowl, Starbucks, my favorite snack bar, etc. Regardless of what it is, it fits neatly into my meal plan for the day and I enjoy my treat (almost) guilt-free. I almost always recognize when I have a thought to eat a food impulsively or emotionally and I am coaching my lower brain in what feels like a fair, gentle, and sustainable way. I know you’ve mentioned sticking to my treat as much as possible to build trust in myself and telling my lower brain something to the effect of, “oh, sweet, angry, little toddler, I know you want this treat but it’s not on our plan for the day. But hey, look, we’ll put it right in MFP to enjoy tomorrow!” Sometimes I will have it, sometimes I won’t but this always feels like a victory. However, it seems that there are days (weeks!) when I am unexpectedly willing to eat more calories so I’m more likely to add treats during the day. I usually justify this decision, like, “okay, sweetheart, if you still want the thing after an entire bottle of water and/or X amount of time, you can totally have it.” She usually wins out on that one but I feel immediately like I failed, especially because I’m scrambling to balance my averages for the rest of the week so I can eat in a way that feels less stressful for the weekend! Is this an appropriate behavior/response? Am I giving into my LB’s demands too soon? Thank you for your time and insight, Allysen
Hating my looks
Dear Heather, I started your wonderful programm just recentley. I am learning, it's gonna take time. This phase untill I will really lose some weight, and feel better in my clothes seems so far away. I struggle so hard to like what I see in pics and the miror, but it's so hard and frustrating. Any help? Thanks so much for your terrific work. All the love from Israel!
Mental Health
I never thought I’d be dealing with this, but it has been a very tough year emotionally and physically, and I’m just hitting menopause. I started having severe anxiety very suddenly for the first time in my life and lost a good deal of weight because I couidnt eat. I actually hit my goal weight after 3 years of healthy monitiring, though it wasn’t the way I wanted to. I’ve just started on medication that has the side effects of weight gain. I’m actually ok with gaining a few pounds back because I didn’t lose it in a sustainable way. Do you have any tips for managing my mindset to gain weight back in a healthy way after illness?
Thank you
Hi Heather I just listened to your early release podcast today and I wanted to thank you very much for answering my question. I wanted to tell you God bless you for everything that you do and for caring about people and for sticking in there and being a success story with keeping your weight off for so long. I pray that God blesses you and your family and that you have continued great success. Just wanted to thank you very much for taking the time to answer my question. Marie Restifo from Ohio ❤️
Pull Ups / Chin Ups
Hi Heather! How did you progress to be able to do pull ups? How many days a week to train them etc. please. I have been working on them since January with thick bands for assistance. SO hard! I have been maintaining over a 100 pound loss for almost a year and I’m 45. Trying to get strong. You inspire me!
Waking up hungry
Heather, I wake up hungry, starving is a better description. I eat breakfast lunch and some snacks and generally eat dinner but could actually skip dinner or just eat something light based on hunger alone. I am an early riser, usually 5 am and workout in the morning. I am not sure how to handle what seems to be my bodies natural rhythm with a family that wants dinner. But I would say the calories I consume for dinner are not required and generally when I over do my caloric budget. Any suggestions? Sandy